Wednesday, April 1, 2009

the promise is still there

April 1, 2009


I’m stumped on how to begin this email so I’m just going to dive in. This week has been so crazy and it’s only half over. Tomorrow, I have my next treatment but that’s not really a big deal this week. Friday I get the pleasure of visiting a neurosurgeon. Why you ask?? Oh…because I have two tiny little cancer spots in my brain, each one the size of a piece of rice. Yippee!!! My doctor wants me to go to another doctor because this other doctor specializes in the “gamma knife procedure”. It seems like a pretty cool science fiction-y kind of procedure but I’m not really very excited about trying it out!!! I’ve never liked sci-fi. The only redeeming thing is that they sort of knock you out so I actually might get some sleep! In the midst of all of this, I have the extreme pleasure of taking Cam and Ben to the doctor for shoulder injuries. Ben fractured his shoulder doing a skateboard trick (Ben’s 14 and has had 7 fractures…not ONE from football!!!) and Cam has a shoulder issue that needs surgery. By the end of this week, I will have been to a doctor of some sort five times. I’m truly not bringing up any of this stuff for pity…only for the extreme entertainment value it holds. And, for you to know that if I’ve promised I would get something to you or call you, there really is a great reason as to why I haven’t (and possibly never will)!

The truly amazingly awesome thing that has happened though is that the LORD has spoken to me in some super powerful ways over the last few weeks. I know that’s a really bad sentence but I’ve been so excited to hear from the LORD again that it’s hard to put it into words. This last weekend, God gave me an assignment. Let me try to explain. A few years ago, a couple of dear friends - who now live on different continents - gave me the same exact scripture within a few months of each other. Both confidently knew that the LORD had put it on their hearts for me but didn’t really know why. I never truly understood the importance of the scripture in regards to my life but somehow gained strength from it anyway. So, I held onto it knowing that some day it would make more sense. It’s not a well known scripture and it’s in a book that’s not common so whenever I’ve heard it since, I’ve totally perked up. A week ago Tuesday, God gave it to me again but in a way that I couldn’t just glide over. It hit me so hard that I decided I needed to look up every translation to figure out if I could figure out what God was trying to tell me. I printed off all the translations I could find but wasn’t able to read them all for a few days. FINALLY, this last Saturday, I was able to get them all read and that’s when God made it clear to me what I was supposed to do. The scripture is Habakkuk 2:2-3 and it reads…

“Then the LORD told me:
‘I will give you my message
in the form of a vision.
Write it clearly enough
to be read at a glance.
At the time I have decided,
my words will come true.
You can trust what I say
about the future.
It may take a long time,
but keep on waiting –
it will happen!!!’ “ (CEV)

I was stunned when I read this version because I finally realized what God was telling me to do (this was confirmed by Reed, unprompted) but I’d never done. I’ve always read this to mean that I needed to write my story out and felt that I was doing that in the form of journaling and these update emails. However, in all the versions I could find, it is made clear that the “vision” I need to declare needs to be written in a way that can be read clearly and quickly. Journals and emails are hard to read quickly and it’s hard to find exactly what you’re looking for. So, I knew that I needed to write it big enough to be seen easily and quickly. This led to the assignment I received from the LORD. I am creating two large canvases to be displayed in a prominent place in my house…not only will I see it every single day but so will anybody who comes to my house. One of the panels has the Habakkuk scripture on it and the other has the vision promise that I still can see and feel so strongly. The LORD did give me a vision and with that vision was attached a scriptural promise. This literally occurred to me while I was in the shower a few years ago and has been confirmed so many times that I’ve lost count. I don’t know when that promise will be fulfilled but He’s making it abundantly clear to me that my job is to wait and continue believing. This has not been easy as of late but for some strange reason, the worse things get for me, the easier it is for me to believe.

This is what the other canvas says…

“This is the message
the LORD gave to me…
Daughter, you took
a risk of faith and
now you’re healed
and whole. Live well
live blessed, be
healed of your plague.”
Mark 5:34 (Msg)

So, in the midst of this crazy week, I’ve been given an assignment that has honestly been a huge challenge for me - and it’s not because I lack artistic ability. I’ve had to study these words in an entirely new way because I refuse to have something hanging on my wall that I don’t like. I’m not finished with it yet but am really getting excited at how it’s looking and the story it portrays. Plus, it’s already been a discussion starter with our piano teacher.

I’m finally done. Thanks for staying tuned !

Hugs (from a non-hugger who appreciates hugs!)…

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